you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
