dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Non-Jews are for practice
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Liz is crying about burritos again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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