Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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