Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
