So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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