do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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