I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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