You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
