the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
May the power of my ass compel you!!
BRING THE BAGELS
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
