You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
