Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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