sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Randomize
