I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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