Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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