I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
