So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
