Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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