It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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