He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I need a beard to bite.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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