Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
