handjob tips. give me some.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
