I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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