Your tits are I can't wait for
i just sent this text using only my big toe
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
