Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
