I just cut my nipple shaving
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I need moral support for this bender
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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