At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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