Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
