My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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