Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
false alarm, still single
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
