He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
