do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
