can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
