Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
