I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
