i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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