i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
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