seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
