Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
