go do what you do best...puke behind churches
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
