? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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