I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
