so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
