Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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