I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We were destined to go to rehab together
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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