I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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