I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
