Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
