just tell him i said nine months
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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