You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
