what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
